For those of you who are new to my blog: Bad Movie Sundays are when I do laundry and watch movies I wouldn’t dream of paying admission for at the movie theater (whether or not they were released in a theater). A lot of times they tend to be monster movies or other action flicks. They are not, per say, “bad,” but are generally not the kinds of films you’ll expect to be winning Best Picture honors… or really any honors (though some do). Some are, surprisingly, actually good!
Not, in fact, in this case, though.
On a recent Sunday, I picked Atlas, the Jennifer Lopez science fiction thriller which landed on Netflix on May 25th. (note: spoilers ahead, because I don’t care and I really don’t think you do either… plus that’s just how I roll).
Atlas is what you’d get if you combined Aliens with Bladerunner with Avatar (the one with the blue aliens, not the magic kid). Take all three, spin them together in a blender at maximum speed with the lid off so half the shit sloshes out onto your counter, then pour the remaining sludge onto the carpet, rub it around, and finally scoop it into a bowl to be served to members of your family you never really liked much anyway, like that one racist uncle who always shows up a Thanksgiving and tells you how Trump is the greatest president this nation has ever had.
Yes, that’s how good it was.
Look, it’s a relatively paint-by-numbers action flick, with well-worn beats. Person who has suffered loss now gets to finish a job they couldn’t complete in the past. Queue said person demanding they go on super dangerous military mission under the theory they are the only one who can stop the baddie (in this case a rogue AI developed by her mom and accidentally freed by her). Of course she becomes nearly the only survivor of the operation by having to rely on technology she doesn’t trust (the AI battle suit she has to don to save her life earlier in the film) because it’s based on the same tech that caused all the issues in the past.
Oh, and she blames herself for all the past problems caused by this AI and its spawn. Because Tropes, beaches!
Look, we’re not here for the writing. We’re here for the blasting of robots with AI minds into a million little pieces. AI will now replace zombies, aliens, and fascist dystopias as our latest movie antagonist. But here, even that little bit of militavaristic (my newest portmanteau, combining military and avaristic) excitement feels performative and sort of boring. I blame the writing for the lack-luster sense of any real tension going on here. It’s all so done before. Nothing surprises.
There are some decent actors in this film, which makes the actual acting on screen seem… a choice? Like, I suspect they all just took the money, phoned in their parts, and sang Material Girl on the way to the bank. I was particularly disappointed in Sterling K. Brown, who has done some fantastic work in movies like Black Panther and Hotel Artemis. The acting here is really lacking any life.
The special effects are fine. Pretty much standard modern CGI, nothing earth shattering or mind blowing.
All in all, I really don’t get why this movie even bothered to exist. In the past, this would have been a film that was made, got lost in development hell, and eventually was quietly buried and written off for the tax deduction. Netflix, though, decided it was worthy of our attention. Perhaps for a Bad Movie Sunday it was, but I still ended up feeling like I wasted my laundry folding time.
On the Reynolds Wrap scale from 1, “Matt Damon is The Great Wall,” to 10 “Harrison Ford is the Bladerunner,” I’m going to give this a 2. Sorry, but that’s all the enthusiasm I can muster for a film that doesn’t seem to want to bother to even try.